Florida Foolery

No one’s blood should boil so early in the morning. But I heard back-to-back radio stories on the way home from taking my son to school that upped my temperature inordinately.

First, it appears that Florida’s toothless law against texting while driving will remain dentally challenged for some time. As it is, police can give a ticket (a ticket, only) for texting only if they have stopped a driver for something else. #huh? Enough members of Florida’s legislature oppose a full-scale ban to make such a law practically impossible. I’m sure they were texting each other about it as they motored around Tallahassee.

The second story was a by-now familiar refrain designed to knit the brows of parents of college-hopeful Florida students. Seems a recent test proved once again that in a nation of 15-year-olds that trail much of the developed world in science and math skills, Florida is worse than the U.S. average. Below the national benchmark. Other states had to step it up to pick up the slack for Florida just so we all could lose to the world. Yay us!

Who in their right mind, even if they crave re-election, would tacitly allow texting while driving, with full knowledge that it will lead to fatalities? Do people dumb enough to text in a moving two-ton block of steel even vote? And who would be satisfied with these educational results? In a state that is supposed to be home of the space program?

Y’know, sunshine is all well and good. But when it shines down on a peninsula of willful idiocy, governed by dumbfucks and churning out more dumbfucks, what’s the point? This is why, after more than 18 years, I still consider myself a Pennsylvanian on an extended visit. Paying taxes the whole time, mind you.

And next time anyone from the upper 49 points down here and laughs, I won’t be defending Florida. Alas, the state has earned whatever the rest of the country can throw at it.


7 thoughts on “Florida Foolery

  1. George Beatty says:

    You spend too much time indoors, in Canada, up North, in Japan, and not enough time in the Florida sunshine to lose the pasty pale bleached color on the back of your neck. You need to get off the shaded golf courses and get out on the water where you can get the sun from 2 directions at once, turn your collar down and let your neck get red like the rest of us who choose to live in the real Florida and the real world.

    • adambarr1106 says:

      I dunno George. I played ball in some pretty hot sun with you, and gutted it out into a distinct redness of neck, face, and arms.

      What could be defensible about failing to outlaw the indisputably dangerous — VERY dangerous — act of texting while driving? What pride can be derived from this immense lack of wisdom and demonstration of self-interest by the state legislators we trusted with the leadership of the state? Why is the idea of texting while driving even a matter of debate? There are some things that are beyond the pale of one’s overweening desire to get re-elected. It has to stop. It’s a public safety issue. And the legislators who cower from the issue in favor of their political future bring shame on what should be one of the greatest states in the union.

  2. George Beatty says:

    Rowing is a great start in the right direction. I admire your dedication keep it up and go for it!

  3. George Beatty says:

    I agree with you the texting while driving and education as well. I just don’t believe that stupidity is unique to Florida. I just want to help you get aclimated.

    • adambarr1106 says:

      Well, I never said stupidity lives only here. But in the failure on the two fronts I mentioned, it represents loudly. Besides, pointing to other examples of bad conduct does nothing to diminish the badness of it. It always reminds me of the caught-red-handed kid who cites his little brother’s similar transgression. However true the indictment may be, the fact remains: big brother done did it.

      As far as me being acclimated — don’t hold your breath. I have no plans to leave any time soon, but I’m reasonably certain I’ve given Florida a lot more than it has given me.

  4. George Beatty says:

    Legislators are only beginning to realize you can’t fix stupid, even though thousands of trial lawywers are getting rich trying.

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